You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
