I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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