At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
