Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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