hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
