I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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