i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
