Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
