The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize