The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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