I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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