Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
