We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
