I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
