literally had 100 drinks last night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
