All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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