perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize