I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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