i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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