went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
