DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
