U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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