i don't like sucking hair
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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