dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
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I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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