i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize