I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize