My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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