if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
