He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
