normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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