Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
