look no pants
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
