hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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