Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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