Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
