is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
