I'm lost and stupid without you.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
