I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
