He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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