he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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