i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
