So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
