Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
