Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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