Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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