Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
