I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
