I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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