If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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