Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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