Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
