At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
