Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
