You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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