How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
