quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
