Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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