he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize