So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
