when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
