I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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