what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize