Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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