when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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