I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
