i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I love black thongs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
