I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
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I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize