Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
